1 week....

In 7 days I will be running the Whidbey Island Half Marathon. Hopefully. I hope to be running it all the way through, I may not be able to make it without walking for a number of reasons, the most recent being the fact that I really hurt my toe a few days back. Being the klutz that I am i caught the last two toes on my right foot on a corner of the wall and really messed it up. Luckily it's not broken but it still hurts. Ironically it seems to hurt the least when I am actually running. Hmm. Anyways. I don't mean to make it sound like it's this amazing feat to run a half marathon, millions of people do it all the time but it is kind of a big deal for me. I'm nervous but I don't think it will really hit me for a little bit. *Sigh* I'm starting to feel pretty lost as far as what to do after the race. How many times a week will I run? For how long? It seems like my life has been focused more and more on running. There are a lot of things that have been pushed to the side while training and I feel like I want to get back to them. The more I think about it I really don't think it's the training. I think I am using it as an excuse. The underlying problem is constantly feeling overwhelmed. It feels like there is more that I want to do, more that I need to do than there are hours in the day. Then I need to sleep also. I really thought stay at home moms had more time to get stuff done. I realize now how stupid that is but it still sounds like it should be right. How was I able to take care of the house, cook (ok, not fancy meals but food nonetheless), and work 40+ hours a week and not feel overwhelmed? I just think I feel very lost in a lot of ways right now. The typical who-am-I, what-do-I-want-my-life-to-look-like kind of stuff. Little Miss is over 2 and I still feel like I have no idea how to be a mom, and honestly I get tired of hearing "But of course you do. You are great with her. She is such a great, happy child." Yes, she is smart, funny, and happy most of the time. She has normal fits but she is good. She entertains herself and all that good stuff but truthfully I feel like I don't pay enough attention to her and that I don't know how to. That may sound strange but seriously. I don't know what to do with her. Ok, this has really strayed far away from running but still. A blog is a blog, right? Let's just say there is a lot on my head/heart right now. Take care everyone!